Friday, October 30, 2009

My mother irritates me.

I love her, but she irritates me. She's always on her 'pity wagon', plus always nagging at me to 'do this, do that... no wait, don't do that, do this instead... ah, hell, do both!'

She's always complaining about how I don't 'do anything for her', when I generally do my chores and whatever else she asks unless I'm sick or about to faint, as I have been for a couple days, so admittedly, I have let a little slack by me, but still.
She was complaining about how I didn't do the dishes last night, or iron any clothes. I was about to explode, because she's been nagging ALL MORNING about it.
Well I'm sorry I hurt my foot last night, so standing on it--when it's painful just sitting!--to do freaking dishes and iron stupid clothes wasn't utmost on my mind. I'm sorry I nearly fainted in the shower. I'm sorry I don't jump and run at the snap of your fingers. I'm sorry I'm a pathetic excuse for a daughter, and I'm sorry you had to get stuck with me!

Bleh. Sorry about that. I just had to get it out. It's just so... uuuuugh.

I ate again. =_=; My dad cooked lunch, and I had like... three teaspoons, plus a tiny slice of garlic bread. I'm actually kind of proud of myself, because I did get a reasonable amount of food, just to make them not realize, but I sat there (Because luckily, since it was lunch, we didn't eat around the table), ate a tiny little spoonful, pretended to eat a few more, nibbled at my tiny slice of bread, ate another tiny spoonful... etc. So by the time I had my third spoonful and finished the bread, it had been about twenty minutes, which I figured was a reasonable amount of time to keep them in the dark, so I was like "Oh, that was delicious!" and then, since I was alone in the kitchen, scraped the rest into the dog's bowl, which the cats and the dog immediately swallowed in about four seconds. Maybe I should feed them more, if they're starving to death like that. XD

I am kind of pissed that I CAN'T FREAKING FAST PROPERLY, though. I HAVE to lose twelve pounds in three weeks. I HAVE to. And this foot HAS to heal so I can walk like a person instead of a duck. =_=;
I mean, I was looking at myself in the mirror, and my stomach is getting a tiny little bit of definition, so it's not just this huge blob of fat hanging down... it's a huge blob of fat with definition! : D
I swear, I would be happy as a flea on a hound dog if I could LOSE MY ARMS. I swear to God, I don't think I've lost ANYTHING off them, even from my high weight. I've started doing those tricep dip things, where you hold onto the edge of the seat of a chair and dip down. You know what I'm talking about? XD Yeah, anyways, I've started doing those. But I only feel anything in my freaking thighs. I mean, what the hell?! They're not even INVOLVED! So now I'm doing some work with dumbells too, just PRAYING it'll tighten up some before we go. DX
I'd really love losing my legs, too. I'm starting to be just a bit happier with them--my knees are actually less puffy than they were two weeks ago, so that's making me happydance. XD But still. I just feel like a fat girl trying to masquerade as a skinny chick and not quite making it.

I mean, at what point does 'normal' society stop seeing someone as 'fat' or 'overweight' and start seeing them as 'skinny'? Because, yeah, I'd like to reach that point so I can move on from there instead of trying to make it down from an obese whale.


  1. Hi there!

    Just wanted to say I relate in
    many aspects of this blog!

    Keep up the good work!


  2. Hiya, I had the exact same issue with tricep dips! My thighs got rock solid, but my arms were still a pair of chicken wings. Seriously I've got genetic Grandma arms. My mom was 100 pounds at her wedding and wore a size 2 (In the 80s)with sleeves!!
    The one exercize I've found is using really light weights, or just water bottles, and dancing. Really, if you are listening to music anyway, it's so easy to make sure you keep your arms above your head and just wave 'em around and do extensions.
    It feels a little ridiculous at first, but my arms went from mush to almost acceptable in three weeks.


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