I am officially at...
THE HALFWAY POINT.
Like, no shit. 35 lbs lost, 35 left to go. OH MY GOD. I am... Freaking out. This is HEYYYUGE. Well, not as HEYYYUGE it'll be once there's 70 lost and 0 left to go, but you get what I'm saying here. ;P
It's also kind of... scary, in some odd way. To be looking back and thinking "Damn, I really did come all this way. I'm halfway there. o:" But then you look ahead and say "And now I have all that still in front of me. OH LAWD."
If I plateau now, I'm going to stab something. =X
I am going to be SO fucking hot by spring break. >=D
Warning: Long, rambling post consisting of bones, measuring tapes, clothes, friends, heritage, and waffling about maybe posting photos of my fat self so I can have MIDWAY and AFTER photos begins NAO.
I was laying on my floor last night, and it was weird. Because usually I have a nice, soft, really gross cushion of fat all over. But last night, I could feel my hipbones against the floor. Not, like, majorly, but I could feel these two little bumps against the floor. So I stood up, made sure there was nothing under me and then layed back down. That's when I figured out what it was. XD So then I stood up and raced to my mirror. They don't stick out yet. FML. D: But I can FEEL them! And that's something, right? D:
My collarbones are also becoming more and more prominent. They started just barely peeking out when I was at about... oh, 155-160. I was like OMG I HAVE BONES. XD And so I always walked around with my shoulders held in the exact right position to make them pop forward as much as I could make them--which wasn't much. : P But now they stand out pretty well on their own, even without me walking around looking all weird. :3 The tops are pretty well hollowed--they still have a little bit to go, I think, and the bottoms are just barely starting to hollow out. I can't WAIT until it's through popping out of my fatty layers! I LOVE collarbones!
Also, my shoulderblades are starting to make an appearance. I didn't ever really pay attention to them while I was fatter, but I think they didn't stick out. Now I have two little shoulderblade bumps, especially right at the top of my shoulder, where they begin, but then they kind of make a little point down a little farther along my back.
Plus, when I move my fingers around, you can see the bones in my hand moving under the skin. XD How cool is that?! After being fat my whole life, it's pretty much amazing to me to see stuff like this, rather than my fat jiggling all over the place.
I need to measure myself. After I get a new tape measure. My old one is shot pretty much to hell. Damn mice. =_= They've nibbled all along it, plus it was stuffed in a drawer, so it's all wrinkled up. I don't think there's any hope left for the poor thing. XD I believe it's time to move on. D: Maybe I can find a really cool-looking one, rather than just basic white-with-black-numbers. : D
I've also got my outfit planned out for when we go to see my grandparents. I got this really awesome bomber jacket yesterday, so I'm going to go all 'motorcycle gang' on them. :P Tightish jeans, plain white t-shirt, my jacket... and I'm still debating about my shoes. I have these dark grey converse high-top knockoffs that have this awesome pattern of guitars across them, but meh. I dunno. XD I'll figure it out. : P Boots, maybe. But I don't think I have the right boots. Because I don't think my 'cowboy' boots'll work--though they are REALLY cute, especially when I'm riding. : P I have low-top converse knockoffs in red... but still, not really sure. XD
As for church, when I'll see my friends... I've gone all-out on that outfit. It's a shortish black skirt that hits about two inches above my knee, a white button-down, these black booties that kind of look like moccassins, my bomber jacket, plus a dark metallic gold belt. It actually all looks really cool together--I'll have to take a picture of it, both now, and when we go. Just to see if I've made any kind of dent in my weight. : P
I just want to always look really cute and SKINNY while we're there. XD Silly? Oh yus. But necessary? OH HONEY SLAP ME YES. Last time they saw me, like I said, was at my heigh weight, and I was always covering up in baggy jeans and baggy t-shirts--one of which I now wear as a nightshirt...That I'm actually still wearing now, and really should go change. XDDD But I shall finish this really long-ass blog post first! :D
I'm still really nervous, even after I connected with my old friends on Facebook yesterday--I'm just wondering if when they saw my photo, if they saw any weight loss. Because my mom had a few pictures of me at my hw on her Blackberry that I was looking at yesterday... I had NO cheekbones, my face was completely round, my thighs were even worse than they are now, my boobs were huge... I think now I can actually see a slight difference. Because now I have a jawline, my cheekbones are starting to become more prominant--My cheeks actually have this teeny-tiny hollow at the back, close to my hairline, that extends about mid-way. Can only be seen if you're really looking for it, though. XD
I love my cheekbones--I have the high Indian cheekbones. My dad's grandma was a full-blooded Cherokee Indian. I'm so glad I take after his side of the family--at least in this case. My hair is pretty dark, and my skin has this kind of olive-ish tone, though my mom's total 'white-girl' heritage really diluted the color it COULD have been (Which also makes me look REALLY sallow and sick when I get too pale =_=; ). XD I have these really dark eyes, plus, yay, the cheekbones. XD
My dad, however, looks like this total cross between Hispanic and Indian. XD He was telling us about how one time he went into a grocery store, and while he was checking out, the cashier was trying to talk to him in Spanish! XDDD I just... I swear, I wish I'd gotten my dad's hair instead of my mom's. Kind of, I guess. My mom's hair has these tight-ish curls that are kind of frizzy and all-over-the-place, with a mind of their own. My dad has fairly straight hair. FML!!! I've got loose curls that tend to frizz like mad unless I put stuff on them. XD But they look ok, once I get the frizz tamed down, so I just really don't know. XD
Also, I had this idea about posting photos of Fatty Me up, just so you guys can get a... well, not 'before' but still kind of 'fat' to 'thin' photos. I just don't know... I look SO DAMN FAT. D: So yeah, you guys choose if you want to see... I could be your reverse thinspo? :D And make you go OH GOD DAMN when you think that there was actually 35 MORE pounds packed on me. ._. I just... really don't tend to carry much extra weight well. It goes to my thighs, butt and stomach, but after it fills those out, it runs to my boobs and upper arms. Which reminds me, I need new bras. Maybe I'm down to a B-cup now. That would be deliciously AMAZING. :D I need to get myself professionally measured, because I don't have a clue how to do it properly. But... geez, that just seems embarrassing to me. I mean... how do they do it? Are you just standing there naked while this total stranger wraps a measuring tape around your boobs? DX I guess it would be better than wearing an ill-fitting bra... but still. XD I'm actually a fairly modest person! XD
Ok, ok, ending this post now. XD If you actually read this far, I love you sosososo much, and here, have many hugs. : D *hughughughughughughughughughughughug!* :D