Thursday, October 1, 2009

ABC - Day 3

1:29pm and nothing has passed my lips except water. I'm excited, because a couple months ago, I would be dying by this point. XDDD Plus, I walked my three miles, so that's awesome too.

My mom keeps telling me that 'You're looking so good!'. See, in April of this year, that's when I got serious about losing weight. I got on the scale and it screamed "GET OFF ME, YOU FAT COW!". I was 172.4 lbs, at 5'4". And so I started working on losing weight. It's taken me until this point to weigh 145.6 lbs. I still can't stand the sight of myself in the mirror, though. I just keep thinking I'm about to see the ginormous cow I was. But nah, I just keep seeing the ginormous cow I still am.

So yeah, I would imagine I'm 'looking good' to her, since I was so HUGE before, but I still feel like I have so much farther to go before I can even BEGIN to say "Hey, I like that girl in the mirror there."

I need to go weigh myself, because I weighed last night and had lost 1.2 lbs since the day before. That made me squee. And do a victory dance. XD Until, of course, I looked in that damn mirror. Hips from hell. I'm not even kidding. My arms are flab city. My boobs look huge. I've got kind of a waist now, but then I have soooo much stomach flab, love handles and shit, so then it's just like "Ewwww!" And then the hips and thighs. UGGGGH. I don't even have to search online for thinspo, because my mirror gives me plenty of motivation.

But it'll get better, hopefully. Maybe? DX

So my meal plan for the day is an egg (70 calories), an apple, (80 calories) and maybe a salad for supper (I can usually make one that's worth about 10 calories, if it's dry, which it needs to be) So that brings me to about 160 calories. I might add some milk, because my mom keeps getting on to me about "Get more calcium!", so that'll be about 100 calories for 1 cup of milk, I think. That's still pretty good--260 calories.

But for now, I'm going to keep chomping on my sugar-free gum and wait for awhile until I eat anything. I'm serious, I don't even feel hungry right now, and that's just so awesome to me. XD


Edit: 6:25 pm

Still haven't eaten anything. It's been so fun to watch everybody eat except me. :3 I just feel so, so strong right now. But... I'm kind of breaking. My dad is frying pork chops for dinner, and I love those. But no, no, no, NO! I'm not giving in now! I'm going to keep being strong.

So for supper, one egg white. 17 calories, baby! Still debating about adding a slice of toast... all we have in the house is white bread, so that's not good. So I'm probably going to skip that and just have the egg. If I'm totally starving by the time I make it, I might just go ahead and leave the yolk in. I need as much as possible here in these first few days so I don't go binge and discourage myself. But then knowing I could've left some calories out and didn't... Ugh. ._.

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