I hate this. I hate feeling so dependent on someone. I hate this.. needing someone so much that it hurts to the bone when they're not there. I hate breathing but not taking in oxygen. I hate feeling so trapped in my own skin. I hate wanting to run so far, but knowing it'll never be far enough. I hate feeling like I have to burn the forest down just to find a drop of air to pull into my lungs. I hate this pressure in my chest, knowing I'm on the verge of breaking.
Why do I need him so much? Why does it hurt me so much that he hasn't even attempted to contact me for the past three days?
I did email him last night, and I'm going to wait two more days before I really allow myself to completely break. I don't want to, but I know I will anyway. I don't want to need him like this. But I do.
And I really hate the fact I sound like a melodramatic bitch right now.