Thursday, October 1, 2009


I feel like a poser.

A wanna-be or something.

I bet I sound like one, too.


So am I just 'new kid on the block' or poser?

Does everybody feel this... out-of-place?

*sighs again*

I deviated from my plan. I had potato salad. I don't know exactly how many calories were in my portion, but I'm estimating maybe 400?

Now I'm wondering if I should count this as a binge day. I mean... does that even count as a binge? Or just sheer weakness? I might subtract 100 calories from tomorrow's allowance to make up for it and count it as a binge day, too. Just to make sure I stay on the total allowance levels, and just to get a binge day out of the way.


Hmm, I'm thinking... maybe it doesn't matter if I'm just a wannabe. What matters is I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do it all-out. I'm going to become skinny and pretty, and I'm going to get in control here. I might feel out of the loop, and I might feel like I don't belong doing this, but really, is it so much different than I've always felt? And if you guys do accept me... then I'll have found a home.

But if you don't, that's your choice, and I'm going to hope you might someday, but until the point of acceptance comes, I can fly on my own wings.

(And I'll continue to support everybody I've started following, until you all tell me my comments are no longer welcome)


1 comment:

  1. Hey... Just wanted to say I'm here to support u as much as i can.. I know what it feels like not to be understood and feel accepted by anyone, not to be able to fit in... so i wish you the best of luck on your journey to thinness! take care!


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