A quick question:

I know I don't have any followers yet, and pretty much nobody happens upon my blog here, but I just wanted to put this forward on the off chance anybody happens by that knows anything about the Master Cleanse? Like have any of you tried it? Lost any weight on it? Is it any good? I was thinking about starting it so I could be sure and stay under-limit for the ABC's days to come, but I can't find anything about how many fricking calories are in the damn thing, like what the calorie allotment is in the juices and crap.

The salt water flush part of it seems interesting, though. I have heard people say that you can be carrying five pounds of pure crap in your colon. Huh. I might have to try that one on its own, maybe. Again, have any of you tried that? XD I'm not usually one to just dive into the great unknown. XDDD But I guess I might have to for some of this. At least until I get some followers that know this stuff. I feel so lost, and yet so empowered at the same time.

ABC - Day 2

I woke up about ten minutes ago. : D Was feeling soooo shaky and low blood-sugar-y. Oddly enough, that makes me happy. : D I've started the day with an apple, which I'm estimating to be about... oh, maybe 80ish? I've heard that's about how many calories in a medium-sized apple. I feel really good about myself--it's an even better start than yesterday!

For the rest of the day, I'm planning on maybe 2 more apples, then maybe a salad for supper. I'm going to estimate my salad to be around... oh, 100 cals? That's probably being generous there, but I'll get the exact calorie count when I'm making it. My brother and dad are around now, so I can't just go check.

So if I stick to that plan, and the salad is, in fact, 100 cals, that'll bring me to 340 calories for the day! Once again, planning for shooting under the limit makes me happy. : D

I need to start making plans for exactly WHEN I'm going to be eating. Right now it's just kind of a "Make a vague plan about what you're going to eat, and then go get some of it when you're hungry", which did work yesterday, because I never binged out, but still, it would add a little bit more of the self-control element to the ABC.

Oh, damn, I nearly forgot--my dad is boiling shrimp tonight! I can't just skip that completely or suspicions will DEFINITELY be up. Maybe I can add a few to my salad tonight. I just looked up how many calories in one shrimp, and it seems to be about 3. So if I can keep my salad low-cal and then add maybe 5 shrimp, which is 15 cals... I can still stay at around 340. Dang, this is going to be harder than I thought, this working around parents. ._.

Edit: 2:30pm

I just had my second apple, and I'm feeling pretty good. XD This just makes me feel so... I dunno. In control, I guess. Like I'm finally, finally, finally doing something about myself.

Also, is it bad that I feel slightly superior as I watch my brother go back and forth from the kitchen getting snacks and stuff? I mean... I don't want to feel that way, but I do. XD He's been skinny for a couple months now, and now he's going to eat it all back on, while I'm going to become slim and beautiful.
It just kind of makes me smirk, because one time while I was eating something and he was in his "Exercise like crazy and eat one HUUUUEG meal a day" phase, he sneered and was like "Ever heard of self-control?" It's kind of funny looking back now, because well, he didn't have self-control then, at least not as much as I do now. Because he'd eat at least 1000 calories in just that one meal, plus he stopped exercising when it got hot out. And now he's eating about 2000 calories a day, and I haven't had that much in two days. *grins* Who has self-control NOW?!

Also, throughraindrops, that's a good idea, about the shrimp. I dunno why I didn't think of it. XD I guess I just got into "OH SHIT" mode. XDDDD Maybe now I can just put in one or two for 3-6 cals, but make it look like a lot more. And heck, if I'm frugal with my calories in the salad, maybe I can make the whole thing for 50-75 calories! I love salads--you can get so much for so little calories, so you feel fuller, and being new to this diet, that's kind of important to me. Though I am kind of getting used to the feeling of not being truly full.

I stood up just a few minutes ago, and got light-headed. I always used to think it would be a bad thing if that ever happened, but I kind of liked it. I swear to god, I felt like I was floating about six inches off the floor. XD It did kind of freak me out when this ring of darkness came around my vision and I felt like I was going to pass out, but it passed, as did the light-headedness. I didn't even know it was possible for that to happen after only two days on a diet like this.

Edit: 8:26pm

Arrrrgh. Parents forced more shrimp on me than I wanteeeeed. Eight little shrimpies. And at 3 calories apiece, that's about 24 calories right there. So I cut down some on my salad. And it's dry, which isn't my favourite way to have it, but it works. Since everybody had left the kitchen because I took my sweet time in getting in there, and then peeling my shrimp, but they would've noticed if I threw any shrimp away or put any back. =_=; But anyway, they were out while I was making the veggie part of my salad, so I've got exact tallies on those. My entire salad is 40 calories. Yummy. So far, my day has been 200 calories. o_o

Jesus Christ. XDDDD I'm satisfied here. And I still have an apple left over from my original plan. : D Hmm.... makes me wonder if I'm actually gonna eat that.

Still can't believe I have 300 calories left over for the day. : D You have NO idea how good that makes me feel, to finally be taking over here. Bikini, here I come!

ABC - Day 1

I've started out fairly well today. So far I've had 180 calories, planning on having the same again around lunch, which brings me up to 360, then maybe I could have something worth 100 cals for supper, which leaves me at 460. Under the limit makes me happy. : D

I'll edit later with how I'm doing. And please, just stab me if I screw up. =_=;

Edit: 1:00pm

Just had my second round of 180 calories. So far it's been just liquid. I'm... actually kind of proud of myself. When my dad and I got back from town about half an hour ago, I was soooo starving and nearly told myself to screw the plan and eat a salad or something. But I couldn't do that! Plans are everything, and if I can't stick to my one-day plan, how can I stick to my fifty-day plan?! How can I stick to my LIFETIME plan? So I've got the hunger pangs under control for now and should be able to ride it out until supper, when I'm having my last 100 cals. Other than that, water all the way. : P
Plus green tea. XDDD I swear, the stuff is my new addiction. It just smells SO freaking good. XDDDDDD

Edit: 6:54pm

I am so fucking amazed. o_o I should've started checking nutrition labels more often! Did you know that 4 cups of spinach (raw cups, of course) has only 20 cals? o_o Also, 3oz (3/8 of a cup) of broccoli slaw has 25 cals. Hoo boy, I was thinking it would be way more. XDDDD But still, I'm only omnoming on 1 raw cup of spinach, plus 1/4 cup of broccoli slaw. Cooked it into some kind of odd veggie stir-fry. @_@ Was feeling kind of confident, so I checked on cheese. 110 cals for 1/4 cup. o_O That was kind of high, so I had half that amount. Was going to put it on my stir-fry but I got impatient. D; So then I put about 10 cals worth of soy sauce on my stir fry and am enjoying it with a cup of... you guessed it! Green tea! So my calorie tally for today is 438! YES! I'm below even what I thought I'd be! YESYESYES!!!!! I still have the rest of the day to wait out, but still. YES!

Also, I'm modding the diet. I'm going to allow for 5 binge days. If I don't plan for them, they'll screw me up majorly. So since the diet is 50 days long, that's one screw-up day per 10-day period. I'm going to hope and work for not ever using those, but they're still there if I need them.

Also, I walked a little more than three miles again. On my usual route, there's a lot of hills, but there's this one super-mondo-killer hill. XD So I made a decision. : D A circuit is up and then back down. So I do five circuits forward... and then I turn around and do five circuits backwards. Then I jog back up. Let me tell you, the backwards... KILLER. DX It makes the backs of my legs burn like crazy, but that's what I need. So I'm going to keep it up. : D

I feel pretty confident I'm making a good start here.

Month 1 - Day 11

Change of plans! This blog is going from private to public. And guess what? I'm sick and tired of this crap. So tomorrow I'm starting the Ana Boot Camp diet. And I'm going public with the blog just to make sure I stick with it. I'm going to search up other bloggers that are doing the same thing just so they can keep me accountable to it. Here's the diet:

1: 500 calories (or less
2: 500 calories (or less)
3: 300 calories
4: 400 calories
5: 100 calories
6: 200 calories
7: 300 calories
8: 400 calories
9: 500 calories
10: fast
11: 150 calories
12: 200 calories
13: 400 calories
14: 350 calories
15: 250 calories
16: 200 calories
17: fast
18: 200 calories
19: 100 calories
20: fast
21: 300 calories
22: 250 calories
23: 200 calories
24: 150 calories
25: 100 calories
26: 50 calories
27: 100 calories
28: 200 calories
29: 200 calories
30: 300 calories
31: 800
32: fast
33: 250 calories
34: 350 calories
35: 450 calories
36: fast
37: 500 calories
38: 450 calories
39: 400 calories
40: 350 calories
41: 300 calories
42: 250 calories
43: 200 calories
44: 200 calories
45: 250 calories
46: 200 calories
47: 300 calories
48: 200 calories
49: 150 calories
50: fast

Anyways, for today, I had a can of sardines (No judging! They're good! XD), and a 290 cal frozen dinner. A lot of tea, as usual. I've kind of stopped coffee. XD I've been practically vegetarian for a week now, except for minimal amounts of chicken and cheese, plus milk, so if my parents ask about my eating while I'm on the ABC, I can just say I'm continuing that. They really don't pay much attention to what I eat, anyway. I've had four cinnamon pills, too. Walked a little more than three miles.

Also, trying to convince my parents to get me a gym membership. I'm getting my driver's license this week, so I can get myself to and from there. I think it'll work out fine.

Month 1 - Day 10

Still on track. Except... been adding cheese and chicken to my salads. Ugh. Need to stop that. Still losing though. 145lbs. Ick. Apparently, now I've hit the ideal weight range for my height. Barely. Pft. My goal is currently 125, ultimately, I'd like to get down to 117. Tomorrow, I start exercising again. Feh. Still sick, but ughughughugh. Tonight, I'm going to do some dumbell work. I'm getting my license this week, and I'm going to look up gyms and see if my parents will get a membership. If so... hello, gym! Three times a week! And I won't have to rely on my parents to get me there anymore! Hello, freedom!

Month 1 - Day 8

I know, I know, I skipped again. Still on track, though. I did cheat a couple days ago and added chicken and cheese to my salad. Bleh. Felt soooo freaking fat afterwards.

So today, I had my mom take full-body pictures of me, just so I could see how I'm doing... and my god, I don't look 147 lbs. I look 200 lbs. Ugh. I hate my body sooooo much.

Luckily, before she did that, I hadn't eaten. And after seeing the pictures, I just lost my appetite. Completely. She did this at about 10am this morning, and it is now 4:14 and I have only had an apple, a few pretzels and four cinnamon pills--good for the metabolism! I've had two cups of coffee with milk and sugar. Planning for about 2-3 cups of hot tea for the rest of the night, plus water. No-cal, plus it fills ya up for a while. I'm still wondering if I might want to have a salad later, but.... jesus christ, those pictures are still stuck in my head. I don't think I can do it.

I need to start exercising again, but my nose is stuffy now, so I don't know if I can run and stuff and still be able to breathe properly. o_O I'm going to wait it out until Monday, and if I'm not any better by then, I'm just going to start walking. Can't let myself keep looking like this.

Month 1 - Day 5

Argh. Coughing like a chainsmoker. DX One good thing about being sick: it pretty much removes the desire to eat. XDDD Only thing I've had today is an apple, a glass of chocolate milk and two cups of coffee with coffeemate and milk added. It's currently 5:21, and I'm not especially hungry. XD I've been chewing sugarfree peppermint gum like it's going out of style, though. It makes my throat not hurt as bad. <3
So, I only lost, like, .2 lbs today. Sad. D; But I'll probably lose more before all this runs its course. XD

Umm... planning on having a salad later, just because I don't want to starve to death--have to keep eating to keep my immune system up, and I need to drink more water, but blahhhh, I just don't feel like even MOVING right now. q___p

Also, pasta cravings. BIG TIME. Either those big tube-like ones in marinara sauce or ravioli would be SOOOOO fucking good. DX Good thing we don't have anything like that in the house. XDDDD

Month 1 - Day 4

Blah, sorry for skipping yesterday. I did ok, actually. And today the same. I didn't do any exercise, but that was because I started my period and was cramping pretty badly, as always. Hate that. Today I might get out and do some, but it's iffy, because NOW, I'm sick. A cold or something. My stupid brother's had it and refuses to cover his mouth when he coughs or sneezes or whatever, so I was bound to catch it no matter what. It sucks major monkey balls. My throat hurts and my head feels... it doesn't hurt, exactly, and it feels kind of normal... but there's kind of a fullish feeling around my sinuses. It's odd. Hate it. I've been eating minioranges, hoping that'll help some, but it really hasn't. I guess I'll just have to suffer it out.
I've been eating small amounts of crap every day, and that needs to stop. For sure. I'm down to 150, but still. I might lose more if I stop crap. <_<; Thing is... comfort food is so hard to stop. DX At least I've managed to stay away from meat. Craving it like crazy, but... meh. I can hold out for a bit longer.

Month 1 - Day 2

Today has been kind of ok. I started things out with the last piece of cake and a few strawberries. While it was kind of a crappy way to start out the day, at least it got that temptation out of the way. I was pretty good the rest of the day. A small salad with a bit of ranch dressing, two mini-oranges and then some grapes. Admittedly, I did have too many grapes, but at least I didn't binge out on something completely unhealthy. For supper, I'm planning another salad with a nectarine an hour or two after.

For my exercise, I walked two miles at about noon, and I'm planning to run tonight. So I'm pretty good on that front.

Ok, now a bit of celebration. My scale has been telling me I'm hovering around 152-154, but... today I broke it. I am now 151.8. I know it's not that great, but it feels good to have busted--no matter how slightly--that plateau. From now on I'm going all out on this. All out. ^^

Also, kind of angry at my dad. Ever since I started my diet, he's been cooking all my favorites. High fat, with MEAT. It's like he's TRYING to sabotage me here. My mom is kind of on my side and has promised to stick with me and not eat that garbage, but still. It's so hard, and really depressing to think he could do this.

Month 1 - Day 1... again

So I've had to start over. And this time, I'm not allowing anything to sabotage me. It is currently 5:07pm and all day all I've had is an apple, a small salad and just a few minutes ago I had one of those mini-oranges. I forget what they're really called. XD I'm planning to finish out the day with another small salad and maybe a nectarine or plum. I'm out of apples, which makes me really sad, but I should be able to get some later this week. On my salads, I'm using a small amount of buttermilk ranch dressing, which probably isn't the best choice, but it'll have to do until I can get my mom to take me to the store so I can get something a bit healthier. So yeah, I'm pretty proud of myself today--a strong start for my Five Month Fight.

I've kind of fallen out of the habit of exercizing, but I'm planning on changing that tonight. It's been kind of wet and sloppy outside for the past week or so, and that's what I've been using as my excuse, but not anymore. I need this.

It's kind of strange, too, but even though I've been eating crap lately and not excercising, I've lost about half a pound since I last weighed in. I was pleasantly surprised, because I expected myself to gain some. But I'm pretty confident that with this new vegetarian-style diet plus exercise, I'm going to come out on top in this fight.

It's only been not-even-one-day since starting this vegetarian thing, but I'm already kind of getting into it. I feel soooo light right now. XD I'm probably going to be looking online for some actual recepies after I do a couple weeks on a salad-and-fruit diet like this. ^^ I might actually be able to stick with this forever. Of course, I'll probably cheat sometimes, after I reach my goal weight, but I might actually be mostly like this. I'm going to add in fish later, if I start to feel meat-deprived. But I'm going to try to learn how to cook now, so my dad's fatty and meat-rich meals won't sabotage me. I'm going in this full-force. I'm 152 lbs of pure determination right now.

I feel GOOD about myself right now. I feel truly, truly good.

Edit: 7:33pm

Plans fell through. Had pizza. But I did put a lot of veggies on it, and some pineapple chunks to kind of make it a bit healthier. But it did have meat. DAMN. DAMN DAMN DAMN.
I'll probably have some grapes or strawberries or something a little later, because I'll probably get hungry later because of the utter crap I just introduced into my body. Ugh. Grease, fat, and MEAT. This was supposed to be a vegetarian period. DAMN. At least it wasn't a whole freaking steak or something. But still. >___<

Edit: 12:07am

Right. Had a piece of chocolate cake left over from my birthday. Was feeling depressed because my boyfriend told me he's still in love with his pathetic ex-girlfriend who got herself knocked up, just had the baby and is in the hospital in 'urgent condition'. Fuck. And no, the cake didn't make me feel better. Worse. At least I'm not some slutty little bitch in the hospital.

Month 1 - Day 1

Ok, so today I've been doing ok-ish. I had a Carnation instant breakfast shake this morning, and then around one I had a fish sandwich. Not so happy about that, so I'm probably going to skip supper and have a V8 or something instead. I don't want to go without food, but I don't want to go overboard and binge either, so the vegetable juice should help with that. I'm thinking about adding jalapenos to it--I've heard that can raise your metabolism.
For my exercising, I've been running for a few months. Not, like, solid running, but kind of run-walking. So I've been doing that, plus I recently added some work with dumbbells. Since April, I've lost about 15-20 lbs. SLOW. Of course, I haven't had a completely single-minded focus on it, either, so yeah, that should change this time around. I want to be sexy, I want to be beautiful.

Ok, I've had enough

I've had enough. I've had enough of looking in the mirror and hating what I see. I've had enough of feeling like I'm huge, like I don't belong, like I'm stupid, fat and ugly. So now... let's see what I can do in five months of extra-strict dieting, hmm?

Forty to sixty pounds is my goal, which will put me between 90 and 110 lbs. The 90 is underweight for my height, but I'd welcome being underweight after being over my entire life. So, let's see what I can do here. Wish me luck.