Square One

Since my last post, I've been attempting to fast. Note the attempting part of that. I've been failing miserably. Binged on pizza a couple days ago, but other than that, it's just been the sort of thing 'a little bit here, a little bit there'... you guys know how it is.

Anyway, I am back down to 135 as of this morning, so a victory dance for that, but I'm not sure I trust it, because it basically came out of nowhere. So I guess we'll just see about that in the next few days. I'm... umm... vaguely optimistic? I guess. XD

Ok, now as I said, I've been trying to fast, but it's not been working, so it's made me realize something. Now this is probably old news to y'all, but I'm just the dumb little newbie, so bear with me. I realized that after eating like a lardass, you can't expect to just jump straight back into the swing of things. I mean, that's just unrealisitc. Your body's gotten readjusted to eating... 'fatly', I guess, so it's not going to take kindly to eating 'skinnily'. Those aren't real words, but whatever. XD But anyway, I've decided to start just restricting again. I've set myself a limit of 500-600 calories a day, which is enough to get my body readjusted to low limits, but still low enough to let me keep losing.

I've also got a few rules for myself. No adding salt, and I have to add hot peppers to everything I eat to kick up my metabolism. And one rule that's very important to keep myself motivated is... I can't punish/yell at myself for eating something 'bad' as long as I'm still under the limit. I have a bad habit of doing that and then binging out because I just think "Screw it, I ate something bad anyways", but I'm not doing that anymore.

Also, I am... mildly annoyed. I've been thinking I'm 5'4" for a while, but I had my mom measure me last night to make sure. I'm like 5'-freaking-3.5". Which means, at my high weight, I was actually freaking OBESE. I know it's only half an inch, but the shorter you are, the more your freaking weight shows. ._. And I know y'all are going to tell me to stop freaking out, because I've been this short all this time, but now I KNOW about it, ok?! XD

In other news, at my high weight, the widest part of my stomach was 41 inches. It is now about 34.5-35. So I was kind of excited about that. I want to lose at least 5 more inches. : P
And I read somewhere that doing crunches and stuff actually makes your stomach look BIGGER. I mean, if you do them all the time and stuff. So I think I'm going to do about 10-20 twice a week, instead of about 10 every day like I've been doing. o_o I mean, I know it's just muscle under the fat, but still. I want to look SMALLER, not BIGGER. XD

Stay strong, stay beautiful xoxo