Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Maybe there IS a god...?

Ok, wow, so last night I was all "OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!! YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE!!!!"

But today, my mother has pleasantly surprised me. After my panic over going early, she checked her schedule for work again, and now we're going on the 19th. That's two whole days more than I would have had if we had stuck to the original plan and gone on the 17th. Honestly, I have never loved my mom more than I do at this moment. Sometimes she just doesn't get it, but sometimes she really surprises me and shows me just how much she does understand my crazy ways. I don't think she would understand if I told her about this blog or anything, but she understands my extremely low self-esteem, and does a lot to help me lose weight. Even though she thinks I'm 'skinny'. Er... no.

So today, we had one grapefruit left. I cut it up into eighths and am going to have one every two hours. I have roughly an hour left until my next one, but I'm pretty ok. Of course, that could be the fact I had about 40-50 cals of junk about forty minutes ago, but hey. I'm not going to throw the day away like I usually do. Usually if I eat something bad or go off my plan, I just say "Well hell, the day is screwed now anyway, so I might as well eat EVERYTHING!". But y'know, I'm not going to do that today. I'm stronger than that, and I damn well know it.

This morning I woke up at 137. I have been hanging out at 139-140, because my willpower and self-control went to shit, but hey, 137 is an extremely pleasant surprise. Of course, I just went back and weighed again and it's 139, but I'm just going to keep clinging to 137. I'm in a bit of an optimistic mood today, which I'm hoping won't screw me over by making me believe in miracles. Like "Oh, if I eat thirty-four pizzas and ten cheeseburgers, I won't gain weight. In fact, I'll lose! :D" Of course, it's optimism. Not stupidity. There IS a difference. XD

So since hearing jumping jacks burn one calorie per jack, I've been planning on doing 200 a day, slowly building up to 500-1000. Not all at once, mind you. Spread out. XD! Of course, if they're all at once, that would just be awesome, but... I don't think I'm quite there yet. XD So yeah, I'm working on that. Plus, for the past five days I've been walking two miles a day. It's not much, but at least I'm finally getting myself out and getting a bit of exercise done.

A few days ago (Can't remember when, exactly...) I said I was giving up coffee for a week. Er... I'm thinking about running in the kitchen and making myself some. XD I want some so bad, but I just... nyeh. I want to be good. D: But coffee always makes me less hungry, so... I dunno. D: Trying to decide if it's worth finishing my coffee-less challenge or drinking some and perhaps not having the urge to eat as much.

Eh, I'll just go for it. XD I've done well for several days now, and that's good enough. XD

So yeah, I noticed I've got a few new followers again. If I don't follow any of you guys, leave me a link to your blogs and I'll go follow you. Like I've said before, I don't comment a lot, but I do always read. Plus, I'm trying to get a little better at the not-commenting thing. ^^

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