this is for all the times-

all the times i have lied to myself, said i would do better and didn't throw in the effort.

those times are gone.

all the times i have convinced myself to have just-one-more-bite, and allowed that to get out of control.

those times are gone.

all the times i have glanced in the mirror and told myself i am almost pretty.

those times are gone.

all the times i have wished for slimmer thighs, less stomach, for my beautiful bones to show & then never done anything about it.

g . . . o . . . n . . . e

gone like the past year i have spent doing nothing but disappointing myself. hell, gone like even the past disappointments themselves. they're gone now. gone. i don't have to stumble over them anymore, because i can't change the past. all i can do is work on myself today. and let today be the best day. let today be my starting point.

i meant to do this post on new year's but things were kind of hectic. so today is my new year's day. i've felt my resolve harden. i'm going to do this and do it for me. i will be beautiful. this is my resolution. my time is now. my year is this year.

it's going to happen.

i will not stop myself this time.