hello again

i just wanted to let you all know that i am shutting this blog down.

i have started another blog which more accurately reflects me and my struggles at this point in time, rather than keeping this one, where i'm just muddling through and mostly failing.

these days, instead of failing and giving up, i fail and keep going. i have reasons to keep the faith and reasons to keep going. rather than just chasing the elusive dream of 'thin', now i have goals, i have reasons. i'm going to make it this time.

i'm hesitant to give out my new blog url, because i'm afraid to cast doubt on myself now. all of you who know me from here and know me as the slacker, or the one who isn't seriously about this, i love you all dearly from when i got to know you as /this/ person, but as you already all have preconceived notions about me, i'm afraid.

comment if you would like a link to my new blog.

i love you all, and miss you all.

strength, grace, beauty,

<3,

breezy

this is for all the times-

all the times i have lied to myself, said i would do better and didn't throw in the effort.

those times are gone.

all the times i have convinced myself to have just-one-more-bite, and allowed that to get out of control.

those times are gone.

all the times i have glanced in the mirror and told myself i am almost pretty.

those times are gone.

all the times i have wished for slimmer thighs, less stomach, for my beautiful bones to show & then never done anything about it.

g . . . o . . . n . . . e

gone like the past year i have spent doing nothing but disappointing myself. hell, gone like even the past disappointments themselves. they're gone now. gone. i don't have to stumble over them anymore, because i can't change the past. all i can do is work on myself today. and let today be the best day. let today be my starting point.

i meant to do this post on new year's but things were kind of hectic. so today is my new year's day. i've felt my resolve harden. i'm going to do this and do it for me. i will be beautiful. this is my resolution. my time is now. my year is this year.

it's going to happen.

i will not stop myself this time.